Please Don't Be Like Jimmy the Mouse

Here's a warning to men, get yourselves a confident woman with some self-esteem, and a life! 
Sadly there have been several instances I've witnessed over the years with a few guy friends of mine (haven't had this problem with my girl friends) that has inspired me to post this tongue-in-cheek letter.

A Desperate Letter from Jimmy the Mouse
I'm writing this letter while my wife (let's call her, The Dictator) is asleep. You will have to forgive me if I make this a short one, but I'm too scared of the consequences of her finding out that I'm trying to communicate with the outside world.
I don't know where to start, but I'm scared; I'm really scared of my wife. I've been married for three years now and I have to say that I've been living a nightmare from the start.
My wife has taken complete control of my life. I can no longer go outside for a breath of fresh air unless I'm accompanied by The Dictator herself or her mother, who's currently living with us.
Everything I do is looked upon with suspicion. I've lost all my friends except for those who are married and have submitted a detailed profile of their lifestyle to her, in order to obtain approval to hang out with me.
I haven't seen my paycheck in years. Heck! I don't even know how much I earn anymore. She deposits every single dime I bring home into a "mystery" bank account, with the exception of a weekly allowance of $10 to spend when I go out with the "pre-approved" friends.
I haven't eaten a piece of meat (oh how I miss my mother's fine T-bone steak with mashed potatoes) since the day before our wedding. Apparently, I've become a vegetarian too.
I have no say in any purchases made by my wife. For example, the car she drives me to work with, a convertible blue GEO, was purchased without my consultation. For crying out loud -- it's a convertible blue GEO!
As for the home we live in, well, I didn't even know I owned a home until the day she asked me to rent a truck and take the day off in order to move the furniture, while she went out shopping for fresh flowers.
It has come to the point where I am fed up. I love my wife and I don't want to leave her. Help! What can I do to balance things out somewhat? I hope this letter gets to you on time. Uh, oh! She's awake. Oh G-d, please no, not the belt...
Jimmy the Mouse


If your lady is exhibiting overly controlling traits my advice is to 
RUN AWAY!!  If you're already stuck with married to her then you'll need to grow some cojones!  
Do you know a 'Jimmy the Mouse' or have you had a 'Jimmy' moment?  I invite you to share it in the comments area.